ON TV CONTEST : Winner sells Columbo as best teacher pick : howie mandel

Wouldn't you just love to have a TV character for a teacher? Running through the ABCs, going over the rules of geometry, instructing you in the finer points of vampire slaying.

For the last On TV Contest, the judge asked: If you could have any TV character for a teacher, which one would you want? Why?

Eleanor Foster of Fayetteville thought that good-natured Howie Mandel of Deal or No Deal would be ideal.

Hensley's Brian Evatt longed to learn Ward Cleaver's secret for fatherly household management. "Is it the suit? If I were to wear a suit to dinner ... would my son request permission if he needed to leave the table?"

Runner-up winner Claire Kinsey, 11, of Hot Springs, shared her appreciation for Miss Puff on SpongeBob SquarePants. Here is part of her entry:

"She has taught me to be patient with fellow classmates as she is with SpongeBob. Even though SpongeBob has flunked every drivers ed test, she keeps trying to teach him."

Fellow runner-up Linda Mark of Lowell made her case for warm and sunny Rose Nyland of The Golden Girls with a few lines of verse. Here are excerpts from her poem:

Serious and funny Whether skies are cloudy or sunny I will stake all my money On this special friend ... I love her cheery smile She would have me learning with her witty style A golden age that's all the rage She would make learning fun And keep her students on the run.

Tanja Cilia of Malta went into an analysis of Columbo's crime-solving style and thought processes to see what type of teacher he would be. Here is an excerpt from her winning entry: "He did not really care whodunit; all he wanted to do was catch him - or her. This is what is known in the writing trade as the 'inverted detective story.' And that is a reason I'd want him as a teacher - no boring explanations. Just the nuts and bolts of a topic. "It backfires on me to say I am tenacious - for people usually perceive me as pestiferous. However, Columbo is a man after my own heart because he worries the suspects till they are on edge. This means that as a teacher he will unravel the intricacies of a topic without being overly didactic. He does it in an enthralling series of logical steps." Tune in next week, same time, same place for a brand new On TV Contest challenge.