Frank Peretti's book Monster was bad, but the recently-aired SciFi Channel movie Monster Ark is worse. Not that SciFi original movies inspire much hope in me in the first place (they are better for riffing on than anything else) but I simply have no words to fully convey how atrociously bad Monster Ark is. It is best left to speak for itself, as in this clip excerpted on the cable show "The Soup";
The storyline involves a team of archaeologists that find a previously unknown story about another ark Noah had built to trap an ancient evil. They find this ark and, not ones to buck convention, they release the beast and can only stop it with the help of Noah's magical staff. Unless you like MST3K-ing movies, it's probably best to leave this one alone.
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